Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

I don’t know about you but if it wasn’t for other people I’d be just fine. I mean it’s the other people that stress me out and I’m not just talking about those finger wagging drivers. I’m talking about people I have to be around all the time. Women I’m dating, my kids, my friends, people I share the office with, I mean people I can’t avoid. Well if you’re like me then this might be a good article for you to read, I called it…

Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

Have you ever a problem with someone that you couldn’t quite figure what to do about it? Sure we all have. When we try to solve it by ourselves the solution seems to slip away. But when we work with others we can often find solutions to the dilemmas we find ourselves in.

When we are having problems other people, who aren’t so emotionally involved, can look at our problems rationally and can often give us good feedback. So one of the first things we all need to remember is…

You are not a rock or an island

In 1965 Simon & Garfunkel recorded the song “I am a Rock” that contained the lyrics, “I am a rock, I am an island.” I believed that for a long time. As a result I seldom shared my true feelings with anyone. What happened is that as I became more and more stressed I also became more unbalanced. When I was in the Navy this stress manifested itself as some rather poor behavior. After I got out of the Navy I went to college where I majored in psychology. As a result of some of the classes I took I learned to share my feelings with a woman I was dating. Those discussions helped me more than anything I was learning in school at the time. I found that we all need someone to talk to. If you’re not already doing this, find a friend or make an appointment with a therapist. It will change your life.

Even if you share your feeling with a confidant some situations need to be addressed. You’ll need to talk with the person that is stressing you out. This means…

Don’t Hold on to Your Feelings

In the past instead of telling people how I felt I held my feelings inside. Then I became stressed and I mean really stressed. Does this happen to you? I mean you hold your feelings until you feel like exploding or, even worse, explode? What I found was the best way to deal with the issues bothering me is to openly and respectfully discuss them with the person I’m are having the issue with. Like I said, when you hold your feeling inside you risk stressing yourself out and exploding once you’ve reach your “boiling point”. That’s why it’s so important to get them out on the table while they are still relatively small.

While you’re discussing your issue with the other person it’s good to remember…

You don’t have to be right all the time

This was a really big one for me. I mean I think I’m usually right and I was always expecting others to bend to my superior logic or change to be like I expected them to be. Once I figured out that sometimes they believed that their own logic was superior or that they weren’t going to change for my benefit I had to choose if I wanted to expel them from my life, which isn’t a good choice when it comes to my kids, or try to find common ground where we could compromise. What I found is when I listened and tried to really understand what they were telling me it was easier for me to find middle ground that we both could live with. There are times though when compromise isn’t the answer. This means you have to learn to…

Stand up for yourself

Compromising doesn’t mean you need to be a doormat. People don’t have the right to walk over you because when they do all it does is build resentment within you. I mean we have seen the result of people swallowing their resentment at post offices around the country. When people are overstepping their boundaries, politely but firmly tell them what they’ve done and how you don’t appreciate that behavior. For example when someone in your office continually comes into your cubicle in the morning and wants to talk about yesterday’s game but you work the best in the mornings explain your circumstances and set your boundaries. Tell him you’d love to talk about the game but early mornings are when you get your work done. Then let him know you’ll be glad to talk about the game with him later in the day on your break.

So there are some simple methods of working with people to reduce your stress.If you’re interested I have a free stress relief e-course that over 20 strategies you can put to use right away.

Until next time…

Wishing You only Success

Does the economy have you stressed out?

A few years ago, I got divorced, I quit my job, both my parents died, my daughter was fifteen going on thirty and I had to clean up a house full of the junk my parents had accumulated by living in a house for 50 years. I couldn’t sleep, my head constantly hurt, my cholesterol was 230 and I was 25 pounds overweight. My subconscious was running away with my mind and making me nearly crazy and to say the least, I was a real mess.

Now I should have known better because for the last thirty years I’d been studying how to improve my life and how to think positively but it didn’t change my reactions to the stress I was experiencing. I was not only stressed I was beginning to spin out of control.

Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself I began looking for information that could help me. That study led me to develop an e-course. The following is a small part of that course.

Developing Simple Stress Reducing Strategies

Since you can’t escape life’s stressors it’s important to develop some simple strategies that can help you to cope with it. Here are a few strategies that have worked for me. They should, with a little adaptation, work for you too. The first is…

Avoid stress infected individuals

Overly stressed people are infected with stress germs and they spread them around indiscriminately. Before you realize it, you’re infected!
If you know that Bob is stressed out because he’s getting a divorce stay away! If the economy is making Pete bite his fingernails and talk to himself, don’t get involved! If Susie’s boyfriend is going out on her, avoid her! Learn to protect yourself by recognizing stress signals from others and limit your contact. Or if you've got the inclination you can play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves. But even when you try to avoid stressors you’ll still run into them. So you need to…

Adjust to the circumstances

We all run into problems that can’t be avoided. The trick is learning how to handle them in a way that doesn’t completely stress you out. When a situation stresses you out sit down and figure out what you could do differently the next time and then choose to respond that way. When you choose your response you are in charge of your circumstances instead of them being in charge of you. With careful examination you will probably find that this will mean changing the way you communicate with yourself and others. While you are adapting to life’s stressors remember…

It’s all feedback

Warren Buffet says he looks for opportunities in a down market. We can learn a lot from his example when we look for opportunities in our challenges. Like I mentioned above, a few years ago I was really challenged and I needed to do something about my stress and my life. So I decided to go back to my roots. I refocused my energy on training in Tai Chi and Chi Kung at least twice a day. These are two Chinese martial arts that help develop internal energy. I also began recording and listening to powerful hypnosis sessions I had developed over the last 30 years of study. Soon my stress level was coming back into control and so was my life.

Fast forward to today. A month ago I had a physical. My total cholesterol was 172 and my HDL’s (good cholesterol) was 42. My weight is now 171 pounds and I usually sleep soundly throughout the night except when my daughter is fighting with her mom.

The reason I tell you this is because the reason you’re reading this is because you are probably just like I was. With our economy many people are stressed out, not to mention relationships, traffic, having to stay in a job you don’t like, you name it we all have real reasons to be stressed out.

If you’re interested I have a free stress relief e-course that over 20 strategies you can put to use right away,