Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

I don’t know about you but if it wasn’t for other people I’d be just fine. I mean it’s the other people that stress me out and I’m not just talking about those finger wagging drivers. I’m talking about people I have to be around all the time. Women I’m dating, my kids, my friends, people I share the office with, I mean people I can’t avoid. Well if you’re like me then this might be a good article for you to read, I called it…

Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

Have you ever a problem with someone that you couldn’t quite figure what to do about it? Sure we all have. When we try to solve it by ourselves the solution seems to slip away. But when we work with others we can often find solutions to the dilemmas we find ourselves in.

When we are having problems other people, who aren’t so emotionally involved, can look at our problems rationally and can often give us good feedback. So one of the first things we all need to remember is…

You are not a rock or an island

In 1965 Simon & Garfunkel recorded the song “I am a Rock” that contained the lyrics, “I am a rock, I am an island.” I believed that for a long time. As a result I seldom shared my true feelings with anyone. What happened is that as I became more and more stressed I also became more unbalanced. When I was in the Navy this stress manifested itself as some rather poor behavior. After I got out of the Navy I went to college where I majored in psychology. As a result of some of the classes I took I learned to share my feelings with a woman I was dating. Those discussions helped me more than anything I was learning in school at the time. I found that we all need someone to talk to. If you’re not already doing this, find a friend or make an appointment with a therapist. It will change your life.

Even if you share your feeling with a confidant some situations need to be addressed. You’ll need to talk with the person that is stressing you out. This means…

Don’t Hold on to Your Feelings

In the past instead of telling people how I felt I held my feelings inside. Then I became stressed and I mean really stressed. Does this happen to you? I mean you hold your feelings until you feel like exploding or, even worse, explode? What I found was the best way to deal with the issues bothering me is to openly and respectfully discuss them with the person I’m are having the issue with. Like I said, when you hold your feeling inside you risk stressing yourself out and exploding once you’ve reach your “boiling point”. That’s why it’s so important to get them out on the table while they are still relatively small.

While you’re discussing your issue with the other person it’s good to remember…

You don’t have to be right all the time

This was a really big one for me. I mean I think I’m usually right and I was always expecting others to bend to my superior logic or change to be like I expected them to be. Once I figured out that sometimes they believed that their own logic was superior or that they weren’t going to change for my benefit I had to choose if I wanted to expel them from my life, which isn’t a good choice when it comes to my kids, or try to find common ground where we could compromise. What I found is when I listened and tried to really understand what they were telling me it was easier for me to find middle ground that we both could live with. There are times though when compromise isn’t the answer. This means you have to learn to…

Stand up for yourself

Compromising doesn’t mean you need to be a doormat. People don’t have the right to walk over you because when they do all it does is build resentment within you. I mean we have seen the result of people swallowing their resentment at post offices around the country. When people are overstepping their boundaries, politely but firmly tell them what they’ve done and how you don’t appreciate that behavior. For example when someone in your office continually comes into your cubicle in the morning and wants to talk about yesterday’s game but you work the best in the mornings explain your circumstances and set your boundaries. Tell him you’d love to talk about the game but early mornings are when you get your work done. Then let him know you’ll be glad to talk about the game with him later in the day on your break.

So there are some simple methods of working with people to reduce your stress.If you’re interested I have a free stress relief e-course that over 20 strategies you can put to use right away.

Until next time…

Wishing You only Success