Your bedroom can relieve your stress

Life can be irrational, unfair and fraught with unexpected pitfalls over which you have no control. As John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens as we are busy making plans.” What I think he meant was that no matter what, life will always add its two cents. As those cents keep mounting up, you can find yourself looking for just a tiny bit of relief, somewhere - anywhere. A place that where you feel safe from the storms of life. Everyone needs a little spot that qualifies as their castle, their place to retreat and regroup, when the stress of living becomes too much.

Here where a well considered bedroom organizing plan can reduce your stress and keep you sane and happy. After all, you do spend a third of your life sleeping there. In addition, if you’re like many people you may kick back for a half hour after you wake up with a cup of coffee and a pastry before facing the world. Also, in the evening, it's an excellent place for a relaxing read and a cup of cocoa.

Your bedroom is an important 'nesting' spot. Think of it as a retreat space, ideally a clutter and stress free zone. When you think about it this way, bedroom organizing becomes a priority and your bedroom can provide you with an instant getaway, without ever leaving home.

To begin, you want to identify your needs. Your bedroom organizing plan should be centered around creating an environment similar to what you'd expect of a room at a nice hotel. Now you won't be getting room service but you can make the atmosphere close. Nice hotels provide lots of big, fluffy pillows, a nice looking quilt, a big armchair and a side table where you can drink your coffee or tea. Now stock it with a couple of magazines or a book you’re reading. Think about comfort and convenience when organizing your bedroom.

When creating your bedroom organizing plan, think along the lines of what you'd like to have at your fingertips when you're having a 'bad hair' day, or are down with a cold or the flu. If you enjoy sipping coffee or tea in bed, stock a dresser drawer with coffee, a few filters, tea, oh, and maybe some cocoa for those cold rainy nights. If you really like to laze around, find a spot for a 2-cup coffeemaker or a place to store water. Determine whatever provisions that allow you to just hang out in your bedroom and relax.

Look around your bedroom and identify annoying aspects, like accumulated clutter. For example, if you habitually toss loose change on your dresser, let magazines pile up, or scatter pens and receipts wherever they drop, clean it up. Find a big bowel or a basket to dump the change in. Pens can be placed in a coffee cup and if make a habit of filing or tossing receipts right away you won’t have them covering your dresser and wherever else you drop them. To feel better get rid of the mess it’s not conducive to a sense of peace and serenity!

You don’t have to spend a lot of money on your organizing plan. Instead of new furniture try to reorganize what you have presently. Sometimes just changing things around is all it takes. Maybe a slightly different view from your windows will let you appreciate the view. A couple of fluffy pillows don't cost much. Perhaps you should treat yourself to a new bedspread or window coverings.

If you're tired of the artwork you have on the walls, change things around. Visuals are important to your mood. Make sure your lighting is conveniently placed and adequate for its purpose.

The last task on your bedroom organizing plan isn't so much fun. Clean up and organize your closet and every drawer in your room. Once it's done, you just need to keep it that way! Form a habit of putting things away. You'll be amazed at how great it is to never have to search out keys, jewelry and that other shoe. Just the savings in time and lack of frustration cuts down your stress and makes every day run more smoothly.

Until the next time...

Wishing you only success!

Want a better life? Stop drinking alcohol.

I don’t care what people say, alcohol is one of the most addictive drugs ever invented, and possibly the most dangerous, at least for me.
Historically alcohol abuse has been a problem for as long as people have been distilling grain. Since it’s so familiar, alcohol can be worse than any other drug. Countless people struggle for years in vain to stop drinking alcohol as the drug slowly but surely destroy their bodies and minds. Drinking rehab is much more popular than any other sort of drug rehab program, and it will only keep growing. If you don’t believe me ask Lindsey Loham.

Now I used to be a real alcohol abuser. When I was a teenager, just like nearly everyone else in the 70’s, I drank and smoked pot. I preferred to smoke but it was much easier to get wasted on alcohol. Now don’t get me wrong, I don't blame the drug policy for my alcohol addiction, but I do see it as a contributing factor. If alcohol is the only way you can get high legally, then people who are prone to alcoholism are much more likely to get addicted to it instead of using safer alternatives.

There is obviously more to it than that, however. Otherwise, I would have stopped drinking alcohol a lot earlier. Part of it was the stress of growing up the son of a deputy sheriff in the 60’s and 70’s. You see in many ways, I'm a pretty straight edge, repressed sort of guy. For the longest time I had to have my emotions tightly under control and I think the stress of that attitude contributed to my drinking problems. You see, I could be a different person when I was drunk – uninhibited, reckless, and free. It gave me an excuse to live out fantasies that I had always had – the ones I repressed and wouldn't even admit to myself. Suddenly, under the influence of alcohol, I was a daring, fun and carefree guy. The drinks I had took me away from the worries of daily problems. The problem was once I started drinking, I never wanted to stop.

My friends or family never did an invention for me, although my best friend’s my once suggested that I was an alcoholic and told me I should get some help. After some rather traumatic and embarrassing incidents I finally realized that I had a drinking problem, but I refused to get help. I didn't believe that I needed help to stop drinking alcohol. I figured that I could do it all on my own through my own willpower. Fortunately, although it doesn’t happen often, when I began training in martial arts again after a hiatus of nearly 10 years, I was able to change my focus and control my drinking.

Unfortunately, there are very few people that abused alcohol as badly as I did who can stop drinking alcohol through sheer force of will alone. Usually when alcoholics quit, it is usually because they have found the right program and the right friends to give help them travel a different path.

That’s where a 12 step rehabilitation program can be extremely helpful. I have attended these programs with friends that needed the help. Most are very faith focused which can be a tremendous aid to many people. I witnessed many of my friend stop drinking alcohol through a combination of faith, willpower and a community that supported their decision to stay clean and sober. Whatever your beliefs are, you can find a way to overcome addiction if that is what you want. It just takes a little faith, an iron will and some really good friends.

What Is Stress?

We experience stress constantly. So what is stress? When I have a deadline on an article I’m writing I get a little stressed. When traffic is stalled and I have a client waiting for me at the office I get a little more stressed. If my daughter is in one of her teenaged moods I can get really stressed out. And when all of the above happen and a guy cuts in front of me and then flips me off I can feel like I’m going to explode! Each of those events, labeled as stressors by mental health professionals, can really stress me out.

Some stressful events are normal and can even be useful. Stress is very helpful if you need extra energy to work a little harder to finish a project or when you have to react quickly, like moving out of the way of a bus. The state named “stress” is your body's way of preparing to meet what it perceives to be a difficult situation with enhanced focus, an upsurge of strength and energy, increased stamina and heightened awareness.

When your body perceives stress there is a the release of the hormones cortisol, epinephrine and neoepinephrine from your adrenal glands into the bloodstream. These three hormones cause your heart to beat faster, your lungs to become more efficient, your blood pressure to rise and your metabolism to speed up so your body uses its stored energy more efficiently.

As these hormones hit your blood vessels they open wider to let more blood flow to the large muscle groups, like your legs and back. Your entire body is put on alert as your pupils dilate to improve your vision. Your liver starts to pump out some of its stored glucose which gives you a rush of energy. You begin to sweat allowing you to cool your body efficiently. The purpose of all these physical changes is to prepare you to react quickly and effectively as you handle any perceived threats.

This reaction is known as the stress response. It is also called the fight or flight response. Working properly, the body's stress response enhances your ability to perform well under pressure. Unfortunately the stress response can also cause problems when it overreacts, continues to run or fails to reset itself properly.

Until next time…

Wishing you only success

Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

I don’t know about you but if it wasn’t for other people I’d be just fine. I mean it’s the other people that stress me out and I’m not just talking about those finger wagging drivers. I’m talking about people I have to be around all the time. Women I’m dating, my kids, my friends, people I share the office with, I mean people I can’t avoid. Well if you’re like me then this might be a good article for you to read, I called it…

Working with Others to Reduce Your Stress

Have you ever a problem with someone that you couldn’t quite figure what to do about it? Sure we all have. When we try to solve it by ourselves the solution seems to slip away. But when we work with others we can often find solutions to the dilemmas we find ourselves in.

When we are having problems other people, who aren’t so emotionally involved, can look at our problems rationally and can often give us good feedback. So one of the first things we all need to remember is…

You are not a rock or an island

In 1965 Simon & Garfunkel recorded the song “I am a Rock” that contained the lyrics, “I am a rock, I am an island.” I believed that for a long time. As a result I seldom shared my true feelings with anyone. What happened is that as I became more and more stressed I also became more unbalanced. When I was in the Navy this stress manifested itself as some rather poor behavior. After I got out of the Navy I went to college where I majored in psychology. As a result of some of the classes I took I learned to share my feelings with a woman I was dating. Those discussions helped me more than anything I was learning in school at the time. I found that we all need someone to talk to. If you’re not already doing this, find a friend or make an appointment with a therapist. It will change your life.

Even if you share your feeling with a confidant some situations need to be addressed. You’ll need to talk with the person that is stressing you out. This means…

Don’t Hold on to Your Feelings

In the past instead of telling people how I felt I held my feelings inside. Then I became stressed and I mean really stressed. Does this happen to you? I mean you hold your feelings until you feel like exploding or, even worse, explode? What I found was the best way to deal with the issues bothering me is to openly and respectfully discuss them with the person I’m are having the issue with. Like I said, when you hold your feeling inside you risk stressing yourself out and exploding once you’ve reach your “boiling point”. That’s why it’s so important to get them out on the table while they are still relatively small.

While you’re discussing your issue with the other person it’s good to remember…

You don’t have to be right all the time

This was a really big one for me. I mean I think I’m usually right and I was always expecting others to bend to my superior logic or change to be like I expected them to be. Once I figured out that sometimes they believed that their own logic was superior or that they weren’t going to change for my benefit I had to choose if I wanted to expel them from my life, which isn’t a good choice when it comes to my kids, or try to find common ground where we could compromise. What I found is when I listened and tried to really understand what they were telling me it was easier for me to find middle ground that we both could live with. There are times though when compromise isn’t the answer. This means you have to learn to…

Stand up for yourself

Compromising doesn’t mean you need to be a doormat. People don’t have the right to walk over you because when they do all it does is build resentment within you. I mean we have seen the result of people swallowing their resentment at post offices around the country. When people are overstepping their boundaries, politely but firmly tell them what they’ve done and how you don’t appreciate that behavior. For example when someone in your office continually comes into your cubicle in the morning and wants to talk about yesterday’s game but you work the best in the mornings explain your circumstances and set your boundaries. Tell him you’d love to talk about the game but early mornings are when you get your work done. Then let him know you’ll be glad to talk about the game with him later in the day on your break.

So there are some simple methods of working with people to reduce your stress.If you’re interested I have a free stress relief e-course that over 20 strategies you can put to use right away.

Until next time…

Wishing You only Success

Does the economy have you stressed out?

A few years ago, I got divorced, I quit my job, both my parents died, my daughter was fifteen going on thirty and I had to clean up a house full of the junk my parents had accumulated by living in a house for 50 years. I couldn’t sleep, my head constantly hurt, my cholesterol was 230 and I was 25 pounds overweight. My subconscious was running away with my mind and making me nearly crazy and to say the least, I was a real mess.

Now I should have known better because for the last thirty years I’d been studying how to improve my life and how to think positively but it didn’t change my reactions to the stress I was experiencing. I was not only stressed I was beginning to spin out of control.

Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself I began looking for information that could help me. That study led me to develop an e-course. The following is a small part of that course.

Developing Simple Stress Reducing Strategies

Since you can’t escape life’s stressors it’s important to develop some simple strategies that can help you to cope with it. Here are a few strategies that have worked for me. They should, with a little adaptation, work for you too. The first is…

Avoid stress infected individuals

Overly stressed people are infected with stress germs and they spread them around indiscriminately. Before you realize it, you’re infected!
If you know that Bob is stressed out because he’s getting a divorce stay away! If the economy is making Pete bite his fingernails and talk to himself, don’t get involved! If Susie’s boyfriend is going out on her, avoid her! Learn to protect yourself by recognizing stress signals from others and limit your contact. Or if you've got the inclination you can play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves. But even when you try to avoid stressors you’ll still run into them. So you need to…

Adjust to the circumstances

We all run into problems that can’t be avoided. The trick is learning how to handle them in a way that doesn’t completely stress you out. When a situation stresses you out sit down and figure out what you could do differently the next time and then choose to respond that way. When you choose your response you are in charge of your circumstances instead of them being in charge of you. With careful examination you will probably find that this will mean changing the way you communicate with yourself and others. While you are adapting to life’s stressors remember…

It’s all feedback

Warren Buffet says he looks for opportunities in a down market. We can learn a lot from his example when we look for opportunities in our challenges. Like I mentioned above, a few years ago I was really challenged and I needed to do something about my stress and my life. So I decided to go back to my roots. I refocused my energy on training in Tai Chi and Chi Kung at least twice a day. These are two Chinese martial arts that help develop internal energy. I also began recording and listening to powerful hypnosis sessions I had developed over the last 30 years of study. Soon my stress level was coming back into control and so was my life.

Fast forward to today. A month ago I had a physical. My total cholesterol was 172 and my HDL’s (good cholesterol) was 42. My weight is now 171 pounds and I usually sleep soundly throughout the night except when my daughter is fighting with her mom.

The reason I tell you this is because the reason you’re reading this is because you are probably just like I was. With our economy many people are stressed out, not to mention relationships, traffic, having to stay in a job you don’t like, you name it we all have real reasons to be stressed out.

If you’re interested I have a free stress relief e-course that over 20 strategies you can put to use right away,